The sound of bustling footsteps patter throughout the walls of the school. Countless students wander their way through the halls, excited to find their first classes. Amongst them, a young person meanders, nervous to see what the next two years of their life will look like. Damp from the walk in the pouring rain into campus, they sit at a table, browsing Discord. Before long, they connect with some fellow students in their cohort. Things fall naturally from there.
I love computers. Some might call it a special interest of mine. It’s why I decided to go into the IT Systems Administration program at NAIT. I often find myself in a position where I’m the only one who understands technical systems, and I generally have no one to talk or relate to when I walk into a room. When the opportunity to come into this program arose, I had the same nerves that I always do. Things are never as they seem, though, and I would quickly find out that this group was a group I would connect with fast.
The first two days were virtual, and ran sort of as days where we were to get oriented; meet our teachers, run through the syllabus, and get introduced to some early lecture content. Throughout the first term, I am in five classes. These include, and will henceforth be often referred to by the acronym in brackets:
- Computer Fundamentals (SYSA1000)
- IT Project Essentials (PMIT1027)
- Introduction to Networking Protocols (NETW1111)
- Introduction to Server Operating Systems (SYSA1010)
- Professionalism in the IT Workplace (SYSA1011)
I connected into my first class on Tuesday, September 1st, which was Introduction to Server Operating Systems, or SYSA1010, and kind of hid my face for the most part. Anxious to know if I’d connect well with some of my teachers, I watched my first teacher tell his story of teaching, and immediately knew that he was going to be one of my favourites. The way he talked about his experience in certifying and designing the shape of the Digital Media and IT programs at the school was captivating in ways I could not completely describe here. His love of the medium of teaching was infectious, to say the least.
One of the standout moments in his introduction was the statement to keep learning. He told a roundabout story about how he was a second degree black belt in mixed martial arts, and how he learned to swim, as an adult no less, after he wanted to learn how to scuba dive. He talked about wanting to get his pilot license. And it was incredibly motivating and validating to hear the stories he told about continuously learning to be a better professional.
By this point, most of my anxiety had melted away. It also helped that the next class, Computer Fundamentals, or SYSA1000, was taught by someone I know from outside of school. He joined the class in a suit and tie, and I knew he would keep us entertained. I’ve known him for two decades at this point, and he’s incredibly knowledgeable in what he knows. The first day ended as a huge success.
One of the things I had noticed throughout my first day were that some students were comfortable enough showing their faces on camera, as we do all online classes through Teams. When Wednesday around, and it came to IT Project Essentials, or PMIT1027, I thought, “Why the hell not, I’ll toss on my camera too.” In this class, led by the same instructor in SYSA1010, since he had given an introduction for himself, it was time for us to get to know each other in the cohort by introducing ourselves. I felt a little out of place, considering it’s a little more than a decade since I dropped out of high school, and as I listened, a bunch of the students I was with were fresh out of high school. Were all of them going to be younger than me, and I was going to be the old man yelling at the kids to get off my lawn? Hard to tell, since a lot of them had their cameras off.
Next class was Introduction to Networking Protocols, or NETW1111, led by the familiar instructor from SYSA1000. Similar suit, similar tie, same feeling of warmth in knowing that I was going to enjoy his presence as an instructor. This course is also the one I felt most excited by, considering the content is diagrams, and getting to know networking protocols intimately at the lowest level.
The last course of the day, and the final course I was to be introduced to, was Professionalism in the IT Workplace, or SYSA1011. This was led by a third instructor, and this was probably the class I was dreading the most. It lands mostly on soft skills, and I thought would be the toughest course to comprehend and navigate. Yet, the instructor did his introduction, and the anxiety melted away again. His passion for teaching was palpable, and the way he talked about the course got me pumped and ready to make a real effort towards completion.
That night, I didn’t sleep incredibly well, with nervousness, anxiety, and excitement of my first in-person day on campus. The course is being provided as a hybrid course, which means half of my days are in-person and half are online. I tossed and turned, and was up way earlier than anticipated. That morning, it was pouring rain. I got myself ready, and drove off to the bus station to catch the seven o’clock bus that would take me to the campus. I caught sight of an old coworker at the bus stop, who was super excited to see me and glad I was having a good time so far. The bus arrived, and I shuffled on. That bus was packed.
I huddled with my backpack full of my laptop and notebooks I would need for the day in the seat at the back of the bus. The emergency hatch was cracked open, and I felt bad for the girl sitting at the very back who was getting pelted by rain drops whenever we drove. Once I got out of the bus, which landed about a five minute walk from the nearest building entrance, I simply followed the crowd. I managed to make it inside, but not before the rain soaked both me, my sweater, and my backpack.
People hustled around, me included, to get to their classes. By this time, it was 7:30, and I was finally in my building and waiting around to get into my class. I slipped off my soaked sweater, and I sat there nervously. Was I going to get to know people? Would they be cool with me? Am I going to be alone this entire semester?
I noticed people starting to congregate around the class door, so I decided I would slip over there and try and connect with some people. Extended my fist out for a fist bump to a couple people, introduced myself, and we started talking about media servers. It quickly felt normal to talk about my home lab, and Proxmox, and all the cool things I was doing with computers. I was finally in a place with like-minded people.
Our instructor for SYSA1010 showed up, albeit a little late thanks to his bus running late, and we all shuffled into class. I plonked right up front next to the two people I connected with early, and pulled out my laptop and notebook, thankfully not wet from the rain. The lecture introduced us to the versions of Windows Server we would be virtualizing throughout the course. I connected with one person who was a little older than I am, who worked as a dump truck driver for a decade before hurting their back bad enough that they had to transition careers. They reminded me a lot of my old boss at my first job. We laughed about some of the typos in the slides and nerded out about their laptop specs in their laptop that worker’s compensation paid for.
Next thing I know, I connect with a couple more of my classmates behind me, who recognized me because I had my camera on. Before long, I’m walking and talking with another classmate who also recognized me for the same thing. We head off to SYSA1000, where I connect with more classmates, this time asking me about what I did before I came to school. The lecture was short, but covered quite a bit. We learned about hardware in a computer, including the CPU, the motherboard, the power supply, and RAM. We learned about firmware, a chip that contains software to control the hardware at the lowest level. We learned about the BIOS and UEFI, the successor to the BIOS, which help hand off control of hardware to the OS. And we learned about POST, or the Power On Self Test, which allows a computer to check if the configuration is valid before handing off to the BIOS/UEFI.
Shortly after the class, a bunch of us congregated in the hallway. The point that stuck out about that conversation was how people almost looked up to me because I had rattled off a couple software acronyms I knew in class. In fact, I was a little taken aback and smitten about the whole situation. It’s not something I’m used to, considering when I was much younger, rattling off answers to things was a way to become very disliked in my class. Next thing I know, I’m whisked away to lunch with a couple of classmates. It felt so natural to talk with them about all the things I love about computers.
At this point, I knew that this journey that I had undertaken was all worth it.
It’s hard to talk about my past, because there are wounds that I still need to lick on occasion to feel okay. The anxiety I feel is one of those wounds. When I was young, kids often disliked me strongly for being me. I’d argue hate is a strong word, but it felt like some of those kids did hate me. I’m different, there’s no doubt about it. I didn’t have a space where I could be me.
It’s a point I struggled with for a long time. To feel like I belonged. It’s hard to believe that I’ve finally found that space. It’s not something I’m going to take for granted, no sirree.
I remember in grade nine, I was granted a science award. I can’t quite remember what the specifics were on that award. Regardless, it faded into obscurity after dropping out of high school. I think of it right now as I’m writing this, and I hope I’m making those teachers proud. In fact, I know I’m making those teachers proud, because I’m finally my authentic self, and nobody can take that away from me. One day, I’ll end up reconnecting with some of the kids, now adults, who said I couldn’t do anything, and I want to tell them that I’m doing great, and, as crazy as it sounds, I hope they’re doing great too. I know, I know, but everyone fights their demons, not just me. We don’t have self-control when we’re young. Things just… slip out. Forgiveness goes a long way.
So, here’s to my new journey. I’m looking forward to it. I hope to keep up with these posts every week, to recap what I’ve learned throughout my time at school. And to those who I meet along the way, I want to say thank you, because you’re part of what makes this journey so special to me.
Cheers.